If Santa Baby were written by money bloggers

I’m well and truly getting into the festive spirit now, if you couldn’t already tell from my personal finance advent calendar. As the holiday season is fast approaching, I decided to take a break from my more serious content to offer some light relief, by reimagining your favourite Christmas songs.

Of course, it wouldn’t be a personal finance blog if there wasn’t a twist. I will be reimagining your favourite Christmas songs with a money blogger twist.

The idea

Today’s song, Santa Baby, is a money blogger’s worst nightmare. The gifts listed in Eartha Kitt’s original total just over $1 billion – hardly Christmas on a budget. The vast majority of that (over $900 million) is on just two items: the platinum mine and the yacht.

As I was listening to my Christmas playlist, this song came on and I started to find the lyrics funny. The extravagance is admirable in many ways, but hardly realistic. I guess that’s the charm of it.

However, my imagination started to run slightly wild. In either a moment of madness or genius – let’s face it, it’s the former – I gave the lyrics a rewrite, with some of the most popular tips and phrases you hear from money bloggers.

I hope you find it as entertaining as I found writing it!

The Song

So here it is, the version no one asked for and no one needs. Santa Baby as if it were written by a money blogger. Singing along is definitely allowed, and in fact encouraged, so get your best Kylie Minogue impression ready! The italicised parts are the money blogger’s contribution.

Santa Baby

Santa Baby, just slip a sable under the tree, for me.

Read about ESG, Santa baby,

Don’t hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa honey, a 54 convertible too, light blue.

Think a used car will do, Santa baby,

Don’t hurry down the chimney tonight.

Think of all the fun I’ve missed,

Think of all the savings that you should’ve kissed,

Next year yields could be just as good,

If you check out my top stock picks,

Santa honey, I wanna yacht, and really that’s not, a lot,

Won’t find one on Quidco, Santa baby,

Don’t hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa cutie, there’s one little thing I do need, the deed,

(To a house?) Have some mortgage advice.

Santa Baby, Don’t hurry down the chimney tonight.

Santa Cutie, fill my stocking with a duplex, and cheques.

Use this app, save your time, Santa Baby,

Don’t hurry down the chimney tonight.

Come and trim my Christmas tree,

You can get a £9 one from IKEA,

I really do budget for you,

Let’s see if you can budget too,

Santa honey, forgot to mention one little thing, a ring.

Better stick to the phone, Santa honey,

Don’t hurry down the chimney tonight,

Hurry down the chimney tonight,

Hurry down the chimney tonight

The end…

If you found this post interesting, please like it and share across social media or send it to your friends. I’d also love to hear your suggestions. Are there any of your favourite Christmas songs that you think could do with a money bloggers makeover? Also, have you checked out my personal finance advent calendar yet? A new window will be revealed every day, up to and including 24th December.

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2 responses to “If Santa Baby were written by money bloggers”

  1. […] I’ve already written a whole post dedicated to this song and it certainly couldn’t be ignored. The level of extravagance displayed is either impressive or terrifying, depending on which way you look at it. […]

  2. thedoubtingthomas Avatar

    Different, but I like it! Maybe this would be a great way to educate younger people in schools about finance – could you do a version of Cardi B’s WAP with a finance twist? All joking aside, enjoyed this and nice to see a bit of a mix up!

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